Admiration and the Scientology Mindset
After coming out of a cult experience like Scientology, I’ve seen a lot of former members try to make sense of the experience. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and learning in the past year since I’ve been out, trying to undo the psychological damage that being in a cult for 27 years does to you. I’m not even close to being in a place where I can say I have it all figured out but I think it’s good to take note when one hits certain milestones and I believe this is one of those. None of what I’m saying here in this article (or in any of my public writings) are an attempt to demean or insult current or former Scientologists.
I don’t imagine my experience is so different than ex-members of any other cult or religious fundamentalist group either. Life in the real world is quite different from the bubble world that all mass movements create for themselves. Scientology’s founder, L. Ron Hubbard, preached that reality is agreement, and there is a certain degree of truth there, in that people in any group certainly agree to see things a certain way and actively block out anything that opposes “their reality.”
I try to stay away from labels and name calling, because I think that sort of thing is harmful to critical thinking. At the same time, though, there are certain words we use to describe motives and behaviors that fit well enough and also serve to make a point. And in this case, the word I’m looking at is narcissism.
I’m not here to say that all Scientologists are textbook narcissists. I’m saying that Scientology heavily indoctrinates its followers in narcissistic behavior and the entire culture within the Church encourages this. Perhaps it’s this way in other mass movements or closed-belief systems too.
Narcissism has been described as a kind of personality disorder. I don’t know if I’d call it that so much as a frame of mind, but that is completely open to debate. I just want to be clear that I’m not trying to saddle all Scientologists with the stigma of being “mentally ill” or bad people.
I’m writing this to try to help explain the behavior of Scientologists and perhaps offer some suggestions as to how to help those who are trying to get out of the Scientology mind-set, whether this means you personally or someone you know.
It’s All About Me
The term narcissism comes from the Greek legend of Narcissus. He was a handsome young man who fell in love with his own reflection in a pond after rejecting the advances of the nymph Echo. According to the myth, he sat and stared in adoration at his reflection for so long that he eventually turned into a flower, the narcissus.
Narcissism has been defined as extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration. There’s a great article on it by Dr. Kelly Neff here.
Here are some of the characteristics of narcissism. If you take an honest assessment of these against how Scientologists act, I think you will find parallels:
- Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
- Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
- Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
- Requires excessive admiration.
- Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.
- Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends..
- Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. According to Dr. Martha Stout, author of The Sociopath Next Door, this is the defining characteristic of a narcissist.
- Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.
- Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
When I first started reading about this, I was somewhat startled to see so much of this in my own behavior back when I was in the cult, especially as a Sea Organization member. Contempt for anyone not in the Sea Org and a “holier than thou” attitude are part of the entire culture of the Sea Org. They hide this in public venues, but you should hear some of the conversations that take place behind closed doors. It took months after I left to realize that this was the source of troubles I was experiencing in the real world. To a lesser degree this exists at every level of Scientology. It is an elitist group.
Can a narcissist be created? I believe they can and I believe Scientology does exactly that. I also believe that it can be unlearned and that a person can come out of this state of mind.
In Hubbard’s Image
It doesn’t take deep psychological insight to see that L. Ron Hubbard had deep character flaws. His Affirmations (here) are his own grandiose ideas of how he should be and act, delivered to himself apparently in self-hypnosis sessions before he even started Dianetics and Scientology.
From almost the very beginning of Scientology, Hubbard molded an elitist philosophy around the benefits of being self-absorbed. I know that there are people who are going to take exception to this. I don’t claim that this experience is universal for everyone who has ever been involved in Scientology, but it’s pretty undeniable, especially in Scientology’s current state, that there is a vicious streak of self-absorption running right through the middle of Hubbard’s writings and lectures. This is no accident.
Look at one of the most basic tenets of Scientology: the Factors from 1953. These are Hubbard’s description of the most fundamental principles in all of existence. Factor #14 in part states “Thus there is matter. But the most valued point is admiration, and admiration is so strong its absence alone permits persistence.”
It’s an interesting line and one which Scientologists often ponder on. You could remove that line about admiration and the rest of the Factors still make sense. Why include it? I believe it is because Hubbard is making the point that getting admiration is not only a good thing, but in fact is the most valuable thing. This is how Hubbard saw the world and what he passed on to his followers
in countless ways throughout his Scientology writings.
Look at the final destination of Scientology – the thing that all Scientologists want so much that they will forsake family and friends, cash out retirement accounts and their children’s college funds for: the state of Operating Thetan (OT). And what is that? It’s the state of “knowing and willing cause over life, thought, matter, energy, space and time (MEST)”. In other words, it’s becoming your own personal God.
Perhaps the very epitome of this principle of admiration is David Miscavige, the current leader of Scientology. His cavalier and power-hungry existence, with only the very best of food and clothing and every material need cared for (all paid for by Scientology parishioner donations), is exemplified in his statement that “power in my estimation is if people will listen to you. That’s it.”
These days, every single person who completes a training or counseling service in Scientology must write a success story where they include their personal thanks to David Miscavige for his brilliance, hard work and dedication. If they refuse to do that, the person is not allowed to complete their service and “handled” until they will write that. What kind of person demands that of their followers?
The Price They are Willing to Pay
There is a lot of lip service paid in Scientology to responsibility. I believe that this term used to actually mean something substantial for Scientologists. I certainly used to believe that taking responsibility for others and doing my part counted for something and would itself help ensure that I’d make it to full OT myself. That’s the actual reason I joined the Sea Organization in the first place back in 1995.
Today, the amount of responsibility someone in Scientology takes is measured exclusively by how big of a check they’re willing to write. People pay their way through ethics handlings after endless amounts of confessionals, eerily similar to the medieval practice of Catholic indulgences. One’s checkbook or credit card is their only passport out of any Ideal Org fundraising event.
Why do those few Scientologists who remain continue to give? Well, one reason is they seek admiration. There are other reasons too, but we can’t ignore this one. You don’t have to take my word for it, either. Here is part of a promotional piece from just a week ago called “Why We Did It” written by Johnny & Marilyn Beck after becoming “Humanitarians with Honors” (a status awarded solely for how much money they’ve given) to the Silicon Valley Ideal Org:
“We donate because it is fun. As an example, we get the honor of acknowledgement and validation from our group. That is a tremendous amount of havingness and as you know, lots of fun. And, having donated, we have another reason to admire each other and say to ourselves, hey look, I am married to a Humanitarian with Honors.
“And Marilyn and I get to look at all the other Humanitarians and Civilization Builders with tons of admiration and we can say: we know these people! They are our friends! That is admiration and so much fun.
“Admiration, to us, is a fun particle. Marilyn splurges with it and I do too. So our donations are simply a flow of admiration. They are simply a flow of admiration, firstly, to LRH. They are, too, a flow of admiration to Marilyn and myself and to other Humanitarians and very much so to our Civilization Builders.”
When it comes to doing something other than giving money, though, don’t ask them to lift a finger. When cornered and recruited to do something like join staff or go directly help in disaster relief efforts or even go out and sell Scientology books, people like Johnny Beck can’t get out of the room fast enough. As long as they are giving over their money, though, this lack of empathy and help is part of the established and acceptable culture now rampant in Scientology.
It used to be that Scientology practioners, called auditors, were considered to be the most valuable people on the planet. Auditors are a thing of the past. Scientology now is nothing more than a Mutual Admiration Society where help is not the ticket in, but your checkbook is. In the modern Church of Scientology, you can simply buy your way to spiritual freedom, even if that means leaving a trail of disconnected family and friends behind you.
The Sad Truth
It’s sort of sad but true that, generally speaking, it takes something bad happening to a Scientologist directly before they will open their eyes to the truth of what they are involved in. There are many factors at play behind this, including fear, the phenomenon of cognitive dissonance, and even a kind of human inertia where a person has been part of something for so long that they can’t really muster up the energy it would take to break free from it.
I believe that the narcissistic attitude that is developed in Scientology is partly to blame for this. They may hear stories about enforced disconnections where families or long-term friendships are broken up. They may hear about some of the Office of Special Affair’s more unsavory activities such as fraud, harassment and blackmail. They may have even gone on the internet and know all about David Miscavige’s sociopathic activities. But if it doesn’t affect them personally, if it doesn’t come into their home or their place of business and bite them, they are willing to give it a pass.
The way their reasoning works is that if it doesn’t affect them and they can still make it up The Bridge to Full OT, then they have no reason to pay attention to anyone else’s suffering or grief, or the abuses the Church dishes out to its current and ex-members. If that is not the attitude of a self-absorbed person, I don’t know what is.
One Way to Help
I am not pretending to be a psychologist or presenting anything here other than my own personal opinions on how to deal with a cult member. If someone needs professional help, they should get it and nothing I am saying here implies or states otherwise.
I believe that Dr. Neff’s advice to “love them from afar” is very good advice. Scientologists (or any cult members) are loathe to change and have built up very strong defensive walls around themselves mentally to keep out critical thoughts or feelings about the cult. It is never an easy task to break through that, especially when you don’t have the person’s cooperation. It is a lot easier if you have someone like this in your life to just leave them be and let them come to their own conclusions.
Scientology’s indoctrination system creates a mindset where one is personally more powerful, more special and, in a word, better than everyone else. Its entire culture is centered around not only the concept of personal empowerment, but includes a strong “us versus them” mentality. Anyone who is not a Scientologist is suspect of working “for the bank-dominated mob” whose sole interest is destroying every Scientologist’s freedom for all of eternity.
I believe, though, that such a mindset is contrary to a person’s basic nature and that deep down they resist this “us versus them” thinking. Marc Headley, ex-Scientologist and author of Blown for Good said “The end product of Scientology is Leaving Scientology… Everything you will do in Scientology will eventually lead to you leaving. Everyone eventually leaves. PERIOD.”
But even after coming out of Scientology, it took me almost a year before I was okay with acknowledging that maybe there were some things about my way of thinking and my emotional reactions which weren’t so ideal. So it’s not an easy road out.
Leading someone out of that system of thought is tough and requires patience and perseverance. The biggest barrier is getting them to talk to you about it at all. If you can accomplish that, I think you are actually 90% there.
There are two characteristics of narcissistic behavior which I think work to the advantage of anyone who would like to help someone in this state.
(1) A narcissistic personality loves to talk, especially about him or herself.
(2) According to Dr. Lisa Firestone in her article “Is There a Cure for Narcissism” (here), “many narcissitic personalities are hiding deeper feelings of unworthiness or fears of failure.”
Get them to talk, listen patiently and see if you can direct their attention towards those things about themselves or about Scientology which they feel are not right or which they have doubts or reservations about. This goes along with my earlier article “Converting the Converted” (here). If you can find even one thing that is “real to them” that they can see is not right, and get them to talk about why that is, what that has to do with them, how that might affect them, etc., this can start a sort of mental chain reaction.
This takes time. Depending on how close you are to the person, how much they trust you and how often you communicate, this could take months or even longer. I have never seen anyone just suddenly change their entire life or belief system in just one or two conversations.
It usually took quite some time to develop this narcissistic mindset in the first place, so there is no reason it should be undone quickly, despite any of Hubbard’s rhetoric about the speed of auditing results in Scientology.
Conclusion
It’s not been easy for me coming out of Scientology. In addition to adjusting to life in the real world, there’s been a lot of mental and emotional baggage to sort through and work out. I’m sure this will be an ongoing process for quite some time and I know I’m not alone in this. Everyone who comes out realizes that they were taken advantage of to one degree or another. We have to review our own personal beliefs and the decisions we made over the years that led us into and out of Scientology.
People talk about the gains they had in Scientology, even after they leave. I certainly had my share of them. I never fault anyone for this or tell them that those things aren’t true. However, I think real healing comes about when we can not just hold on to the good things, but also look at some of the bad and acknowledge what it was and leave it behind. It is for that purpose that I wrote this and I hope it helps.
Thank you Chris, yes that is wise and helpful info you have shared here that will help plenty of ex’s.
I know for me the biggest buzz I could get in Scn. was to do something like sell a training package etc. and then get the 10 minutes of admiration from others that justified my existence in this warped group.
I now have a greater understanding of spirituality having left and subscribe to the fact we are a Oneness or singularity, as many modern and old time philosophers have espoused.
This is of course directly opposite to Hubbard’s view of the common denominator of being one with all is mud theory.
He had to have the individual become a free and ”super” spirit view so people would part with their $$$ in my opinion, rather than the coming together, increasing love view, which is not profitable.
The guy he most copied and stole from for his good stuff was Walter Russell and I urge all former Scientologists to read his works to get real spiritual gain [google Walter Russell scribd]
Anyway, that’s my 20 cents worth and thanks again.
A good way to know you’re at least on the way to healing from the narcissistic mindset? Being able to enjoy this classic song with *humor* and *irony* (not “J&D”.)
(My apologies, I don’t know how to properly insert a link.)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-07_2DWfEmQ&itct=CDYQpDAYASITCL_I7eiv48ACFdMgywodyLIAGVIbbWFjIGRhdmlzIGhhcmQgdG8gYmUgaHVtYmxl&hl=en&gl=US&client=mv-google#watch_actions
Savage Chickens, my favorite comic strip.
Good article.
I have a different understanding of admiration in the factors but you’re right, I think it’s been way misunderstood. From the Code of Honor, ‘Don’t desire to be liked or admired.’ They are violating this point constantly.
Responsibility, good feeling. Shame/blame/regret not so much but necessary to get those donos happening.
Reading your article I spotted an area where I was still holding on to some of the mindset. I think I’m going to admire it away.
Thanks for writing!
This was a great article. Thank you.
I’ve only recently started reading about Scientology. I can see in the original ideas why some people were helped, and then became adherents. I can also see from the stories of those who have left that many maintained their adhesion with hostility, arrogance, and criminality.
Here’s what I don’t get about the Independents, who have left, but are still practicing. They object to the Miscavige administration the way everyone else does. But one of their objections is that he “deviated” from the “original” teachings. I assume that as Independents they strive to educate and instruct from those teachings.
From my belated non-initiated standpoint, there is nothing “original” in the Hubbard writings. It is an interesting and palatable compendium of ideas that can be found anywhere. Furthermore, the ideas are secular, not religious. Secular ideas are SUPPOSED to evolve. So why would someone believe that you shouldn’t “deviate” from these ideas, unless you were devoted to the Godhead? And why would anyone feel anything other than revulsion about the man himself? You can still take whatever works from his ideas, without being devoted to his expression of them.
In practical terms, by remaining a practicing Independent, you still remain in constant combat with Scientology, not only with the currently practicing Scientologists who hate the apostates, but also with the reality that the evil that Miscavige embodies has its origins in the very same ideas the Independent is trying to sustain.
It looks to me like, for picking at a wound all the time, and for the exertion of defending against evil constantly, the Independent is left with nothing but a set of fairly old-hat ideas.
People confuse “Scientology” with “Church of Scientology”, and then further confuse the CoS with “SeaOrg”.
The most public and vocal “ex-scientologists” are actually PRACTICING scientologists. They are actually “ex-SeaOrg” members.
Their disaffection with being on staff with Sea Org or other high-level branches of the CoS is confusing to newcomers and outsiders.
The everyday experience of being members of the public at local branches of the CoS are nothing like being a SeaOrg staff member
I hate to see these site promulgate. One the one hand, their prominence on the internet is a testament to the beingness of these people and their “power” as operating thetans, but on the other hand it seems to me that they lose sight of their actual beef – it is not with Scientology practices, or with the operations of local organizations, but with the treatment that Staff Members receive behind closed doors at the highest levels of the CoS, away from the public where primarily administrative and development work is going on.
That’s an interesting take on things, Rich. I recommend you watch my video series on What is Wrong with Scientology. It’s about an hour of watching altogether but well worth your time if you are really looking at what is wrong with this group. I took a lot of time and care to encapsulate in a short period of time most of the things I see as wrong with what Scientology is actually doing. And it is NOT just what goes on behind closed doors on Sea Org bases. I think you are dead wrong that critics “actual beef” is not with Scientology practices or the operations of local organizations. For example, fund raising, IAS registration, bilking people out of their trust funds and retirement savings – I personally witnessed all of these things occur at local org level, done by local org staff members just as much as by Sea Org members. I don’t think my site is confusing anyone and if it is, I’m happy to answer any questions anyone has by email. Just use the Contact Me page to send me any questions.
Well, I watched Video 1, and what I got is a contradiction of your previous statement. At 5:00-5:13, “…and I want to make it clear from the beginning that it has nothing to do with Scientology’s belief system. The dogma of Scientology – what they call the “belief system”, is not the problem”.
In the description of this video you state “In this first of a multi-part series, I discuss the overall problem with Scientology and how its operating policies cannot help but bring about its eventual destruction as an organized religion. ”
So in your very first video, I believe that you are immediately confusing the viewer by mixing the use of the term “Scientology”, which means the “tech”, and the “organized religion”, which means the CoS. Your video series is titled “What is wrong with Scientology” when in fact you are only documenting what you think is wrong with the Church of Scientology.
I don’t mean to hold you up as a sole example, as I see this going on across the websites of numerous disaffected former members of Sea Org.
You are all highly capable Scientologists. You have clearly attained very high levels of ability, as is evidenced by your abilities to produce high quality web blogs, videos, and discussions.
I hope to see you all organize together to fight and correct the injustices that were done to you instead of using them to litter the internet with confusing and inaccurate finger-pointing and name calling.
The beef is with Scientology’s Admin and Justice systems, and the way that the CoS applied them in the past and perhaps in the present. Let’s see some efforts at changing that!
I’ll watch the rest of the series and post my feedback. Thanks for the invitation to do so.
Say what? The actual beef IS with Scientology itself and the ‘tech’. You are still brainwashed if you believe in L. Con’s ‘tech’ or the ‘beliefs’ of Scientology. Suggest reading all you can on mind-control, hypnosis, and L Con’s real background. Until you do, you’ll keep posting totally uninformed opinions like you just did. Good luck de-programming, it’s a long, painful, painstaking process, but you don’t want to keep spounting off stupid shit now do you?
Sorry, doug, but you’re just spouting nonsense now – not a good example of critical thinking at all. Your basic tenant is incorrect, your derisive name calling is sophomoric, and your opinion that the tech is about mind control is suggesting to me that you have no actual knowledge of it except what you have seen on YouTube. There is precious little on YouTube that correctly represents the technology of Scientology, but there are huge numbers of misrepresentations – many of them intentional.
One day you’ll get it. For now, good luck.
Edward Lottick, father of scientology cult victim Nick Lottick said this about scientology, “I now believe it’s a school for psychopaths”. This was in Time Magazine’s landmark 1991 article reproduced in full here – http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Fishman/time-behar.html . A typical public scientologist or SO member may or may not meet the clinical definition of a psychopath but your article compliments and fleshes out Mr. Lottick’s statement nicely Chris. Considering that Hubbard was most definitely a narcissist and the indoctrination system of scientology so sophisticated, it is no wonder that scientologists adopt some of Hubbard’s personality traits.
Excellent article, Chris! I would like to see you take your blog to the next level, if you find the time. Your viewpoint on the subject seems to come from a unique viewpoint that strikes me as direct but honest. Some of the other blogs, which I also read and enjoy on the subject of Scientology, are fun to read but frankly, just to much complaining and nattering.
Wow Chris, another very insightful and thought provoking article! Lots to think about here.
I’m ashamed to admit that I stayed in far longer than I should have solely for the selfish reason of desperately wanting to handle some personal issues that distressed me greatly. I knew the organization was nuts to a certain extent (but had no idea of some of the worse abuses and crimes). Selfish? Yes but these were things I really felt were ruining my life. Narcissistic? Not really in my case as for the most part I’m pretty much the opposite of that designation.
Anyhow just my two cents. Thanks for everything you’re doing Chris!
There are non-verbal cues to the narcissism as well. All one has to do is look at the poses in the flyer about the Becks on Tony O’s site to see the arrogance not just in their words, but in their poses and the layout of the photographs. Someone once noted that this emphasis on the self in the Co$ is one reason actors and other artists are attracted to it.
Another great article Chris.
During my protracted departure I made a number of attempts to get others to understand my viewpoint, which included some uncomfortable questions and observations. After failing, I realized that the only way for an individual to begin the wake-up process is if they have a personal need or desire. Unfortunately, this usually amounts to becoming a target of the church’s Stasi. Nothing like a jackboot to the throat to kickstart the process.
I was also amazed that friends, many going back 25-30 years, were perfectly content to stand by as the church sought to destroy my family. In fact, they blamed me for it. Their silence was a deafening display of their lack of empathy. And you are correct, they will permit such actions to go unchecked – as long as it doesn’t happen to them.
Headley nailed it – the EP of Scn is: You Leave. Everyone leaves. Everyone. If you do not take the initiative, the church will, pushing you to the point where you finally wake up.
After living through the years of duress, threats and disconnection, I do not harbour ill-will for my former friends. Instead, I look forward to the day when they’ve awaken from their slumber, and we can once again be friends.
Statpush
Great article Chris!
Your articles are tough to comment on because they are so comprehensive. I have nothing to add.
But reality does not bend to the group’s thoughts. If you put your hand in a fire, you get burned, regardless of what OT level you have achieved. Scientology teaches, demands that people believe stuff that just aint a gonna happen, “facts” that are not facts at all. Believing things that aren’t true, believing in things that will never happen… that’s mental illness
From my point of view, scientology creates mental illness. If you aren’t mentally ill when you start, you will be if you stay.
Sure it is nice to be as polite as possible, and avoid name calling, but that’s not a useful strategy when dealing with people whose goal is to “ruin him utterly” if you disagree. I’m not deliberately trying to “saddle $S members with the stigma of mental illness,” i think it just happens to be true.
Rich:
“I hope to see you all organize together to fight and correct the injustices that were done to you instead of using them to litter the internet with confusing and inaccurate finger-pointing and name calling.”
I assume this means that you believe injustices have occurred, and that they can be corrected, with the consequence, I assume, of a return to original intent.
What do you envision taking place such that that would happen?
I believe it is because Hubbard is making the point that getting admiration is not only a good thing, but in fact is the most valuable thing. This is how Hubbard saw the world and what he passed on to his followers in countless ways throughout his Scientology writings.
And just how does the Code of Honor point 13. Don’t desire to be liked or admired – fit into this equation?
Cognitive dissonance maybe?
PS. Spot on article!
It was an interesting juxtaposition for him to make, wasn’t it? I honestly think Hubbard was just messing with people when he wrote this. By that, I mean he put this Code of Honor out as this high standard but he also said that he didn’t expect anyone to follow it closely and that it was something one would follow as a luxury “provided they see eye to eye with it.” I think one assumes that because Hubbard wrote it, he agreed with it and in this particular case, I don’t think he did. There are more than a couple of places in lectures where Hubbard specifically stated that he released discoveries that he himself didn’t follow in his own life and I think this is one of them. I mean, look at point 14 “Be your own adviser, keep your own counsel and select your own decisions.” Anyone who elects to follow that point gets sent to Ethics or kicked out of the Church entirely for being “open minded” Per point 9, your self-determinism is more important than your immediate life, but if you exhibit too much self-determinism than they will also kick you out. Then there is point 1, “Never desert a comrade in need, in danger or in trouble.” which is completely contrary to the whole policy of disconnection? Scientologists permit their affinity to be alloyed and desert comrades and even family members if a Scientology Ethics Officer tells them to. They don’t eve question it – they just follow orders. Yes, I think it takes cognitive dissonance to look at this Code of Honor and reconcile it with the policies Hubbard later came up with.
There are mega contradictions in Scientology which is one of the reasons so many go batty from it or commit suicide even, like some young Scientologists who killed themselves by jumping off the 7th floor of the Burger King building here in Adelaide, South Australia (one young lad in 1994 and another one in 2000 when I was on staff).
I agree, Chris. One of many of the little points that stuck my attention in time…
I think Ron’s point about admiration was not that we should seek to receive admiration, but that there is value in being able to admire. “What you resist, persists.” And conversely, if you can admire something that some wouldn’t consider admirable, it won’t persist. (But admiration won’t eliminate a theta quality because a theta quality is not a thing.) Kind of like Eckhart Tolle’s teaching to embrace the Now. The other points you mention regarding the Code of Honor, I feel are just examples of how far Miscavige’s church has strayed. You are certainly correct that following the Code of Honor now would quickly get you kicked out of DM’s church. Personally I don’t feel I was damaged at all by my 45 years in Scientology. I’ve just moved on and I’m glad I did. But that was mostly as public which is different. Really, though, I do feel that seeking admiration is not what Ron had in mind, but rather giving admiration.
Fantastic article Chris. I want to read it again to really “get it” as I was on my way to bed when I caught the post. It definitely deserves another read – I like your style!
This goes along with one of the points I made at Flag Down: “Hubbard turned malignant narcissism into a communicable disease.”
Hello again – Just thought I’d share a humorous story while I was here. When he was in high school my husband and a friend of his often went to the local YMCA to play chess, and there happened to also be a gym there where young men spent hours working out and looking at themselves in the mirror, looking completely ridiculously serious about the whole thing.
My husband observed this for what it was – blatant narcissism – and had 2 t-shirts made up for him and his friend that said: Knights of Narcissus. They wore them to the gym, circulated around and lifted a few weights and spent time preening in front of the mirrors. Suffice it to say, not a single one of the true narcissists even got the joke, and therein lay both the humor and the stark reality of intentional ignorance that goes hand-in-hand with true narcissism – the Doctors rather pat “list” aside (that you quoted). It’s only arrogance if it isn’t true, and I happen to disagree with that as a criteria because it’s so often used by those who are usually either jealous or spiteful – waving their own banners of actual narcissism in so doing.
Virginia
Another really great article, Chris. I did not have a problem with any of it. There certainly was a time when I thought that I was above non-Scientologists and thought I knew better and more. Thank heavens I’ve seen the light.
I do notice many Independents who slavishly still follow the “teachings” of Hubbard and hang on his every word. Frankly, I’ve lost tolerance for it and am in another new stage of redeifining who my friends are. I’ve drawn a line. It’s hard not to, knowing what I’ve learnt about Hubbard and having a hard look into Scientology and what it really is.
I love your viewpoints and have declared myself a regular reader; or is it a blogger on your blog.
It is true what you say about the difficulty of changing another’s mind – it’s virtually impossible. Let things be. You can be sure that no matter how wonderful they’ve always thought you were: producer, ethical, caring, intelligents and so on; it will all dissolve into nothing once the church has demonised you. They will somehow believe it although they didn’t see any signs of it while being your then devoted friend or family member.